He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
