2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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