ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
