16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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