Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
