You kept calling me your small dog last night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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