i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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