census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
