Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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