my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
being pregnant is like rehab
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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