So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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