My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize