its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
