I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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