I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
