I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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