For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize