i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
