Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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