He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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