remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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