My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize