I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I party with great urgency now.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize