Little spoons don't ask big questions
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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