You really coming over, don't trick.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
