dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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