Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
