We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
