if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
