There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
