I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
