Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
