drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
