i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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