There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
