Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
