I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
