is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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