I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't deserve a penis
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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