Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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