I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
vagina is talking i cant
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
