Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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