What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So much rum. So many feels.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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