i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
