walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
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Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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