You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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