May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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