It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
