That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
