I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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