Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize