he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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