My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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