To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
