On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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