This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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