I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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