She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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