I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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