I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
