But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
